Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Big Question: Why?

A friend sent this to me this morning. I'll give you a few of the long list. Laughed, but it is so-o-o true. See how much you can relate. Enjoy!

do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Dumb or dumber?

do banks charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money in that account?

does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but checks when you say the paint is wet?
Guilty. Snicker.

do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Afraid of dying?

Whose idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp?"
Obviously, the person had a sadistic twist.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Tell me another fairy tale.

is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always clear?
Never thought about that one!

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Take that!

do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Loved this one!

do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum sweeper then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
This is another dumb or dumber one!

is it that no matter what end of the plastic bag you try to open is the wrong one on your first try? Hmmm.

do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Smart or dumb?

when we're in the supermarket and someone rams our heel with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, we say, "It's all right?" It's NOT all right. Why don't we say, "That hurt."?
Is that a lie?

is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Clumsy humans!

in winter do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer when we complained about the heat?
Reverse psychology, I think. Laugh.

do you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Surely, he's not that much better than your mother-in-law!

Funny: The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends--if they're okay--then IT'S YOU!

Here are some fun food hints to better your life. They make you more alert, more attractive to your companion, more energetic. Try them!

Chocolate. Besides being good for your heart (in small dosages) it's stimulating and helps you relax!

Hot Chilies. Increases your heart rate, metabolism, and blood flow.

Oysters. Amino acids, zinc are both good for you and your hubby.

Nutmeg. Stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system.

Coffee. People who drink it characterize themselves as more attractive to their companion.

Celery. Also makes you more attractive. Works for both of you!

Banana. Coverts carbohydrates into energy. Lots of it.

Honey. On the spot energy and fuel for working muscles.

Now is the time to enjoy our lives. Enjoy the lives of those who have gone before us, and the lives of those who have brought us into this world, those we have helped. Write your stories, read your stories, enjoy who you are." --Erma Bombeck after she learned she was dying from cancer.


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