Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Magic of Aging!

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?"
"I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens--now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life. You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. (He TURNED; we had to throw him out.) There's no fun now, you're just a sour dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21,
You TURN 30,
Then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes--it's all slipping away.

Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle:
you HIT lunch;
you TURN 4:30;
you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Some hints to keep you young! Smile:

After Bath Splash
Fill a plant mister with your favorite after bath splash. You can spritz yourself from head to toe without wasting a drop.

Add a capful of perfume to your bath water. Soak in the scented water for ten minutes.

Dead Skin
Rub a small amount of Miracle Whip (not mayonnaise) into your skin and let it dry a few minutes. While your skin is still slightly moist, massage it vigorously with your fingertips. You'll be surprised at how much dead skin will roll right off. This treatment is very good for feet, elbows, knees and face.

Your eyelashes will grower thicker and long if, every night before retiring, you rub lashes with castor oil.

Before retiring, apply castor oil around your eyes. Make sure it is the odorless form. Plastic surgeons use this on their patients following surgery.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways with an old-dog-astride-a-lifelong-old-horse body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming woo-hoo, what a ride! --author unknown.


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