Thursday, July 26, 2007

Can You Cry Under Water?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the
clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court,
is it still called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains
on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME,
why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


Questions, guestions. Enough to make a sane person go mad.



More good-ole-summer-time hints:
  • As always, wash hands and work areas before preparing food.
  • Cook foods in plenty of time to thoroughly chill them in shallow containers in the refrigerator.
  • Pack foods right from the refrigerator into the coolers.
  • Don't put the cooler in the car trunk; Carry it inside an air-conditioned car. At picnics, keep the cooler in the shade and keep the lid closed. Replenish the ice if it melts.
  • Use a separate cooler for drinks so the one containing the food won't constantly be opened and closed.



Quote:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." --Jeremiah


Blessings

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