I was already going through a discouragement period, and I felt little change as the months passed. Tidbits of things should have given me a hint that change was in the air. Or maybe better said, in my heart.
Friends encouraged. One special friend figuratively sat me down (although actually we were standing for most of the conversation) and gave me a "talking to." What did I take away from that?
- Quit beating myself up.
- I have talent; use it
- Believe in God
I put the words on my desktop. Every few days they would catch my attention. Every few days I'd repeat them like a mantra; a prayer from a heart with little faith.
Then a writing conference.
A meeting with an editor.
A manuscript request.
Calls from my agent. Emails.
I'd been offered a contract.
December 17: date signed.
I became an author!
Elation. Happiness. Satisfaction. Relief.
Yes. All this.
Because throughout this year I learned in my own way to let go and let God. My faith might be weak, but God is strong. My faith might be little, but God works through little and weak and deformed and broken.
I couldn't make it happen, but God did. In his own time.
It's his book, his novel, and whether he blesses it in a mighty way, or a small one, it is his.