Tuesday, March 20, 2007

How to Stay Safe

(The following is a tongue-in-cheek article. Read at your own risk. Follow at your own risk. But most of all, enjoy!)

Do not ride in automobiles. They're responsible for 20% of all accidental deaths.

Do not stay home because 17% of all accidental deaths occur in the home.

Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all accidents happen to pedestrians.

Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water. 16% of all accidents involve these.

Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals, so above all else, avoid hospitals.

But . . . you will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders.

Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is at church. And Bible Study, too. The percentage of deaths during Bible Study is even less.

So . . . for SAFETY SAKES . . . attend church and read your Bible. It could save your life.


Gotta a birthday coming up? Want to try something different, something lasting? Here are a few hints:

  1. A list of things you most appreciate about him or her.

  2. A gift certificate for things to do together that doesn't cost money. Give this some forethought and match with what you love to do and what they love to do. You can create the gift certificates on the computer or buy preprinted ones at an office supply store.

  3. Ask each member of your family and friends to think about something they hold most dear and cherish most about living. Ask them to create a list and send it to this person for their birthday. You can give them an album to place all of them. (or do this yourself & present the birthday person with the album.

  4. Gift certificate for favors and privileges that he or she may exchange for services later. Such as cooking a special meal, teaching them to cook a family recipe, cleaning out the garage or car, a picnic in the Spring, or a foot massage. The more creative the better the gift.

  5. A list of the things you wish someone had told you when you were that age. They can be the simplest of things like not to change a flat while close to the road, don't pour bleach directly on clothes, or don't lick a frozen pole. Go ahead, I know you can do better than this.

And watch the smile that broadens that special person's lips!

Friendship is the breathing rose with sweets in every fold. --Oliver Wendell Holmes


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