Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
Wow; he's miraculous!
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!